"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"

-Kerouac

Friday
Jan292010

« The stench of freedom »

Wholesome. That's how I describe the past month with my 78-year-old Nonna visiting from Virginia Beach. There has been a lot of bed making, organizing, and not going out. I feel like I've gone back in time to any previous century when women were expected to be homebound and silent. Tomorrow morning, she leaves, and I'll be able to go back to shortening my life.

I'm relieved.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for her influence on my life, I love her more than myself, and I am going to miss her, but I can't wait to shake off this responsibility. Elderly dependents are tough, especially the kind that has survived almost every hardship you can think of.

I hope I always remember this period, and I hope she leaves with a positive memory of me and good things to report back home. But really, just under the top of my sternum and pushing up against my vocal cords, I either have some indigestion from the meatballs tonight, or a euphoric rebel yell in the shape of an octopus, with its tentacles stickily poised to slingshot it into the warm, polluted air caught in the whirlwind of speeding cars that is Los Angeles International Airport.

Farewell, Nonna. May you find happiness in your religion, your superstition, and your understandably gloomy interaction with the world.

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